Hundreds of New Yorkers Are Vying to Be Chief Rat Killer

Nearly 900 would-be Rat Czars have responded to New York City’s solicitation for a citywide director of rodent mitigation.

“It went wild,” a city spokesperson told The Daily Beast on Friday. “It really did, which is good.”

The applicants included a number of cats. At least one feline’s submission had a photo attached.

“It was a very cute, good-looking cat,” the spokesperson added.

But even the cutest kitty is not given much of a chance to beat out the hundreds of humans seeking the new position that pays between $120,000 and $170,000 a year.

“[The cat] likely will not be getting the job,” the spokeswoman said. “It would be a very well-paid cat, though.”

Beyond the salary, the huge response can be credited to Mayor Eric Adams’ speechwriting team, who penned a remarkable solicitation for JOB ID Number 38635 at a time when rat complaints have risen by more than 70 percent in two years.

“Do you have what it takes to do the impossible? A virulent vehemence for vermin? A background in urban planning, project management, or government? And most importantly, the drive, determination and killer instinct needed to fight the real enemy–New York City’s relentless rat population? If so, your dream job awaits.”

The solicitation describes the position as “one of the most important tasks in city government–keeping the city’s rats in check and on notice.”

“Despite their successful public engagement strategy and cheeky social media presence, rats are not our friends–they are enemies that must be vanquished by the combined forces of our city government,” it says. “Cunning, voracious, and prolific, New York City’s rats are legendary for their survival skills, but they don’t run this city–we do.”

The ideal candidate is described as “highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty, determined to look at all solutions from various angles,” qualities many city cats do in fact possess. And a feline candidate might be even better than humans in a job function described as “Catch and Kill.”

“You will be expected to lead from the front, using hands-on techniques to exterminate rodents with authority and efficiency,” it says.

But, candidates must also be proficient in data collection and “technology innovation” along with “wholesale slaughter.” The new head rat mitigator might be expected to follow the example the NYPD has set with CompStat, where computers are used in conjunction with four principles: rapid and timely intelligence, rapid deployment of resources, effective tactics and relentless follow-up. Call it RatStat.

The huge pool of candidates who responded to the speechwriters’ unique bit of municipal prose will each be required to do some writing of their own, describing in around 100 words what they would do to tackle the rodent problem in the city. They will also undergo interviews aimed at getting the very best person for a vital job.

The successful candidate will report to the Deputy Mayor for Operations, Meera Joshi.

“We’re thrilled at the tremendous response we’ve received to the rat czar posting,” he said via text yesterday.

He confirmed that humans have the edge in securing a rat eradicator’s dream job.

“Sadly the few cat applicants don’t meet the minimum computer skills requirements and have been excluded,” he said. “But with nearly 900 applications in just under two weeks, it’s clear New Yorkers are ready to join the war against rats. It’s a swiftly moving hiring process to find a killer candidate.”

Source link

Leave a Comment